I am neither A, nor K. Rather I am Bekah and when A dropped me a text asking me to guest blog for Haute in Texas, I was super excited for the chance, but not really sure what to talk about. I’m not exactly “fashion intelligent.” I’m totally guilty of making my younger sister video chat with me so she can give me advice on what to wear out or how to do my hair and make up. So I thought about it, came up with something and then asked myself “Am I really going to talk about getting through my recently ended relationship with a bunch of strangers on the Internet?” Yeah. I am.
You see, about a month ago, my boyfriend of 15-ish months and I went the way of Dodo. And before everyone goes “Awww” – seriously, it’s OK. Things weren’t working. But regardless of how much we were in agreement that it was best to go our separate ways, it still kind of sucks. You spend time investing yourself in someone else and then it ends, kind of like a Relationship Stock Market Crash, if you will. And along with every RSMC there’s a recovery effort.
Some spend time assassinating the character of their former dating partner, an option I really don’t recommend. Really ladies, it’s just not classy. And you dated them, so what does that say about you?
Others reconnect with those two yummy friends we all have: Ben & Jerry or avoid them all together and don’t eat for days. Also not my recommended method. There are side effects: your right and left sides! Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, but no break up is worth having to buy clothes because you need a new size. The break up has already taken your emotions, it does not deserve to take your hard earned money!
HOWEVER, I will totally contend that a break up is the perfect time to reinvent your look – my preferred recovery effort.
OK, so wait, didn’t I just say that no break up is worth our hard earned money? Yes, I did. But this is different; this is optional spending on style not mandatory because your old favs no longer work for your body. See what I mean?
In any relationship, the two parties start to mesh together, that’s part of a relationship. Not to completely dissolve into one another mind you, no one likes a real life Brangelina. But I think we’d all agree that each relationship has it’s own personality, it’s own characteristics, and it’s own look, all of which is created by the merging of small parts of each other’s personality. In order to move on, you have to reclaim yourself as you. Just you. Which is why I’m such an advocate for this particular recovery method.
It’s something that I’ve unwittingly done at the end of every significant relationship. It comes in the form of haircuts, new clothes, new make up styles, or whatever feels right at the time. And this time is no different. After all, this is a new chapter in life and sometimes new chapters require a plot twist.
Me and my ex were very casual. Very jeans and t-shirt. And there’s nothing wrong with that, it worked for us. But now I need something different. Something all me.
So what did I do?
I revamped my wardrobe. Still am actually. Similar to A + K, I am a new transplanted Texan so I’ve been focusing on finding cute pieces that a little more 100+ degree friendly. Like this top, that I can take from work with a short-sleeved blazer to evening with a cute belt or fun, colorful, long necklace. I’ve also invested in some cute, sassy shorts like these which are great for weekends and after work get-togethers with friends, and modern crops like these that I can use at work and for nice nights out.
I also cut six inches of my hair off. Well not me, but a stylist. I’d show you before and after pictures, but I’m not super pumped about the “after” just yet. Hey, similar to our nation’s current economic recovery, RSMC recoveries aren’t always perfect. And lackluster results aside, there was something remarkably cleansing about chopping those six inches off.
So what do you do during your RSMC recoveries? Do you hit the mall looking for a way to reinvent yourself through your look like I do? Or do you have another way of dealing?
XO,
Bekah
