One of the hardest things to do after an argument is to forgive your spouse. The thing is, forgiveness is a gift to yourself rather than something you do for somebody else. When you choose to forgive somebody, you choose to let go of resentment, pain, and upset. It doesn’t condone the bad behavior, it just allows you to move on internally. 


When you and your spouse have had repeated arguments and found yourself at an impasse, forgiveness can be everything. Whether you decide to do this openly or you decide to click here for Bible verses about loving others before you forgive them for yourself, you need to think about the fact that your marriage is made of two humans. To err is human and we are far from flawless. It’s very hard to forgive sometimes, especially depending on what you are forgiving them for. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. So, how do you get to that goal of forgiveness? Let’s take a look at how you can do it below.

how to forgive a spouse

Image source: Pexels

  • Understand what happened. To start the forgiveness process, you have to go back to the beginning and understand what happened to break things down in the first place. Forgiveness takes some time, but if you understand that you can work together to make it happen it’s going to be easier. Ask yourself all of these questions about how the betrayal happened, and ask your spouse as well so that they can help you to understand it. Once you do that, you can learn what your feelings are and understand them.
  • Put yourself first. Forgiving a spouse can be a very long process, but the first person that you have to forgive and look after is you. Pamper yourself and be assertive with it, don’t be aggressive, don’t attack your spouse, and make sure that you heal before you forgive them. You can’t go into forgiveness with resentment inside, but you also can’t sit on that resentment because it’s going to eat away at you.
  • Change your perspective. After you have considered everything, you need to change your perspective and see it from their point of view as well. It doesn’t matter what happens to get you to a point where you have to forgive them, there is always a way to see it from their perspective too. You don’t necessarily have to agree with their perspective, but seeing things from their perspective can help you forgive.
  • Embrace the challenges. When people make mistakes, the impact can be far reaching. At one end of the scale, they forgot to do something or they did something that broke your trust or betrayed you. At the other end, you have your options as to whether you should forgive them at all and move forward or not. Whether it’s lies or infidelity, treachery or addiction, emotions are going to be there and these are the challenges you have to overcome. Once the trust is gone, you start doubting everything, but it doesn’t have to be that way forever.

P.S. This post contains affiliate links.