I’ve always had a little feminist in me. I think when you grow up with a mother who is 6’3″ and acts like it, you generally believe you can do anything you set your mind to, woman or not. My mom spoke her mind, held her head high, and wasn’t afraid to conquer any challenge.
In high school we had a history class where every Friday was debate day. The teacher would have us all put our desks in a circle, and then we could present current events articles to discuss. I remember I brought in an article on equal pay for women, along with the stats and additional studies to back up my position. You know that inspirational quote about the world needing more people who have come alive? That’s how I felt that day, arguing for women’s rights. ALIVE.
During that same time I went to a leadership conference in Washington, D.C. (I know, NERD ALERT) where I found time to visit a women’s rights non-profit that I admired. I bought a t-shirt and a Rosie the Riveter coffee mug. I can’t make this stuff up.
I remember telling my high school classmates how I was going to change the world, fight this, end that, on and on. But what have I done since then? Volunteered once or twice for women’s organizations, got married, got a job, had a baby, and made pretty standard family-work balancing decisions.
But just recently, I finally took the time to read Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. The phrase “hitting home” just doesn’t do it justice. I felt this tiny little light inside of me slowly being fed, until it became the burning passion I was once driven by. It seems my feminist side had been taking a nap for the past few years.
I found myself nodding furiously through almost every word. She was describing ME. Me as a headstrong girl, full of ambition. Me as a young woman in love, starting to think about a family. Me as a mom, struggling to find the balance between motherhood and my career. What killed me the most was the study that found children of women who work out of the home and the children of stay at home moms have no statistical difference in terms of IQ, parental attachment, etc. I literally cried when I read the line, “There is, thus, no reason for mothers to feel they are harming their children if they decide to work.”
I told Orlando I cried, and he couldn’t quite understand why. He was really trying to, but to him it was just so obvious that if I want to work, I should. And I’ve been beyond blessed to find a career and company that has so far allowed me the best of both worlds: work in the mornings and home with my baby in the afternoons.
But part of Sandberg’s book talks about women who pull back at work in order to accommodate their families. What often results is unhappiness at work AND in the home, because you’re stuck in your career but still unable to give 100% at home. WOAH.
I can’t share the details quite yet, but changes are coming where I’m going to do my very best to LEAN IN, as Sandberg puts it. Hopefully leaning in to work will lead me back to that feminist teenager who believed she could do anything a man could, and still be a killer mom to boot.
Stay tuned!
Xo,
A
